New Brew: QUR'ANBERRY!

We've pissed off the Catholics and effed with the Jews!
So here's a beer even a MOOZLUM could use!

Yes, it's QUR'ANBERRY! An exciting new brew chock full of those tangy-assed little red berries. It should make for the perfect quaffing beer to wash down your filthy turkey on your pig-dog capitalist American Thanksgiving Day. Yes, you can cut BOTH hands off, but you'll be searching for a straw once this one gets poured. First, we boiled & pureed two pounds of fresh cranberries which went into the mash. The rest is basically a Wit application minus the coriander at the end of the boil. We've replaced it with a little orange marmalade, just before plopping two cans of whole cranberry sauce into each of the carboys.

I have a gut feeling that this one's going to be such a hit for the holidays, people are going to be hitting us WITH SHOES!! We might even prevent a urinary tract infection along the way.

Cranberries Frappe! Nature's warning colors on full display.

Jim kindly offers to paddle everyone's asses until they're the hue of cranberries.

OG=1.052 IBU=23 SRM=6

New Brew: Rhesus Peanut Butter Monkey Brown

Do you like it creamy, or relish the chunky?
Has your jar of Jif been filched by a monkey?
"That son of a bitch!" You fumingly utter.
"A purloining primate stole my peanut butter!"

Did you know that doggies love eating it too?
Smear it neat places and see what they do!
George Washington Carver sure knew of its uses.
His memoirs are loaded with peanut abuses!

For homebrew and peanuts, we thank Jimmy Carter:
President, farmer and infamous farter.
Yes, during his term he was known to clear rooms
With regular sessions of beer and legumes.

By the spoonful, on toast or in your Pad Thai!
To hell with your allergies, give it a try!
"Dames are like peanut butter," my pappy once said.
"Once their top's off, they're easily spread."

So join us this day on the best porch in town...
The thesis is Rhesus Peanut Butter Monkey Brown.
But since real peanut butter is oily material,
We're mashing our grains with some more breakfast cereal*.

* Aw, hell. We used the real stuff anyway...

OG=1.057 IBU=27 SRM=20